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Home Columns Management Minute

Respect or Love? Which Should It Be?

Dr. Jim Schleckser by Dr. Jim Schleckser
December 2, 2024
in Management Minute
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As a leader or a brand, you face an important decision: do you want to be loved or respected? There’s no single “right” answer to this question. Instead, it’s about understanding the impact of each choice and deciding what aligns best with your goals and values.

Think of your leadership style as your personal “brand” – your style impacts how people view you and determines the relationship you build with your team. Similarly, in business, a brand shapes how customers perceive your company and influences their loyalty and engagement. The choice between love and respect is something every leader and every brand faces.

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Let’s explore these two approaches in leadership and branding, how they differ, and why each can be effective.

Choosing Respect: The Traditional Approach

Let’s begin by looking at respect as the foundation for leadership and brand-building. Many leaders value respect because it’s associated with authority, credibility and discipline. Leaders who prioritize respect often value structure, focus on achieving goals and expect team members to follow instructions with minimal need for encouragement. This approach frequently works well in structured environments, such as the military or high-stakes corporate settings, where clear direction and efficient execution are essential.

Respected leaders may not prioritize building personal relationships with their team. Instead, they establish boundaries and clear expectations. This type of leadership can be highly effective, especially when quick decision-making or a high level of performance is necessary. Team members may not feel personally connected to the leader, but they understand the expectations and respect their expertise and authority.

An example of a respected brand would be BMW – renowned for high performance, quality materials and precision engineering. BMW’s image isn’t about being “liked” or “friendly”; it’s about being a reliable and powerful machine that people respect. The brand’s focus on quality and performance has created a loyal customer base that appreciates these characteristics. People who drive BMWs may not feel a personal connection with the brand, but they respect what it stands for.

Choosing Love: The Inspirational Approach

Now, let’s look at the opposite approach: leadership that prioritizes love and connection. Leaders who take this route focus on creating a supportive and inspiring environment. They encourage their team members to be their best selves, helping them feel valued and appreciated. This type of leader believes in empowering their team and fostering a culture where people feel motivated from within rather than simply following orders.

This approach can inspire creativity, innovation and long-term commitment. When team members feel loved and valued, they are often more willing to go above and beyond. They may feel intensely loyal to their leader and the organization. A leader who chooses love over respect can create a more collaborative and harmonious workplace where people feel free to express ideas and take risks.

An example of a beloved brand is Harley-Davidson. While Harley bikes might not be the highest-performing motorcycles, the brand has a community of fiercely loyal customers. People who love Harley-Davidson often feel a strong sense of belonging and identity. Some even get tattoos of the Harley-Davidson logo to show their commitment and connection to the brand. Harley owners don’t just buy a motorcycle; they join a community and a lifestyle. They’re part of something bigger, and that bond creates a loyal following that lasts a lifetime.

Finding Balance: When to Be Loved and When to Be Respected

As a leader, you may find yourself leaning toward one approach over the other, but there’s often a middle ground. Leadership and brand management are rarely about absolutes. In reality, most leaders and brands will find themselves between love and respect. They may adjust their approach depending on the circumstances, the team’s needs, or market conditions.

For example, in a challenging market or during organizational change, respect may be more effective. During these times, teams need clear direction, and people often look for a steady hand to guide them through uncertainty. A respected leader who can make tough decisions and keep the team on track can bring stability and confidence.

On the other hand, during periods of growth or innovation, a more supportive and inspiring approach might be beneficial. By fostering an environment of trust and encouragement, a leader can help the team to take creative risks, experiment and push boundaries. People need to feel valued and motivated in such times and a “loved” approach may yield the best results.

Applying This to Brand Strategy

Just as leaders choose between respect and love, companies face similar decisions when shaping their brands. Brands that focus on being respected often emphasize quality, performance and reliability. They may not prioritize forming an emotional connection with customers, but they’re known for delivering a consistently high-quality product or service. Customers respect these brands because they know what they’re getting and trust the brand to deliver.

In contrast, brands that aim to be loved tend to focus on building a connection with their customers. They might use marketing that appeals to emotions, values or lifestyle choices. Loved brands often foster community, making customers feel part of something special. These brands may go out of their way to make customers feel appreciated and valued, and in turn, customers develop a loyalty that goes beyond the product or service itself.

Examples of Brands that Balance Love and Respect

Some companies manage to balance love and respect, and they can be incredibly successful as a result. Take Apple, for instance. Apple products are known for their innovation, sleek design and reliability – qualities that earn the brand respect. However, Apple has also fostered a devoted community of fans who love its products and eagerly await every new release. People don’t just buy Apple products because they’re high-quality; they buy them because they feel a personal connection to the brand.

Just as leaders choose between respect and love, companies face similar decisions when shaping their brands.

Another example is Nike, which is respected for producing high-performance athletic gear but is also loved for its inspiring campaigns and message of empowerment and inclusivity. Nike encourages customers to “Just Do It,” appealing to their desire to push boundaries and achieve greatness. By combining quality with a motivational message, Nike has become a brand that people respect and love.

Making the Choice for Your Leadership Style

The choice between respect and love isn’t a one-time decision. It’s a dynamic choice that you might revisit over time. As a leader, you may lean more toward respect or love depending on the situation, your team’s needs, or your challenges. Similarly, brands may shift their focus over time, choosing to build emotional connections or emphasizing their reliability depending on market trends and consumer expectations.

By thinking carefully about whether you want to be loved or respected – or perhaps a bit of both – you can create a leadership style and a brand that align with your goals and resonate with the people who matter most.

So, where do you want to fall on the spectrum? Are you aiming to be loved, respected or both? This choice is yours to make, and it can shape your journey as a leader and define your brand’s legacy.

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Dr. Jim Schleckser

Dr. Jim Schleckser

Dr. Jim Schleckser helps leaders grow companies. With 30 years of business leadership experience, he has led global organizations in public and private environments across many functional areas. Jim has authored two best-selling books and is quoted in The Wall Street Journal, New York Times, Time magazine, and on National Public Radio. His ideas have been translated into nine languages and he has done business in over 42 countries. Holder of a degree in Chemical Engineering from the University of Delaware and an MBA in Marketing & Finance from the University of Connecticut, Jim also earned a Doctorate in Business Administration at the University of Maryland Global Campus. He serves on multiple for-profit and nonprofit boards, is a Certified Sommelier, avid soccer player and prolific reader. Visit TheCEOProject.com.

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