As a writer who caters to a wide range of different industries and services, I get the honor of meeting a massive range of people. Many, if not most, are business owners. That gives me a glance into the world of life as a business owner, or in some cases, life as a couple who own businesses.
Lately, I’ve been thinking about two business owners owners I know. For the sake of this article, we’ll call them Chris and Nick. Chris was, up until recently, happily married to Tessa. Nick and Tina had a similar story up until recently.
How these two men took care of their businesses and relationships taught me quite a lot about businesses and relationships. Let me explain.
Two Relationships, Two Businesses
Going into business with a spouse can be the best or the worst thing you can do. Don’t believe it? Look at these two stories below.
Chris And Tessa’s Story
Chis isn’t doing too well. After he caught his wife cheating on him, they got into a divorce. Both Chris and Tessa officially owned their business—a candle company. It was doing fairly well until the discovery of the infidelity.
Though Chris was the one to initially start up the business, Tessa demanded to take it as hers because she was usually the one doing most of the day-to-day work. A courtroom battle ensued, but not before drama happened in the business.
Tessa continued to work at the company, often calling it her company. Chris tried to fire her and was quick to explain to customers that he wanted Tessa gone because she cheated on him. At one point, it even got onto their social media accounts—including the ugly details of Tessa’s infidelity.
The battle between the two raged on, all over the ownership of the business. The bickering got so acrimonious, employees started to feel pressure to pick sides. Some sided with Chris. Others with Tess. At least one unlucky employee was let go over “picking the wrong side,” and another chose to leave because they couldn’t handle the drama.
By the time the courts agreed to let Chris keep the business, there wasn’t much left to keep. The entire mood of the candle shop was ruined. Clients were worried about walking into the shop’s doors only to find Tessa and Chris at each other’s throats.
Their delivery schedule became unreliable because the employees who were in charge of the delivery and production line left. Chris tried to salvage the company after letting Tessa go, going so far as to invest thousands of dollars in advertising, but is was just not working.
The company ended up shuttering after about three months post-divorce proceedings. Since then, both Chris and Tessa have started up their own companies—both of which are not quite successful.
Nick And Tina’s Story
Now, let’s take a look at Nick and Tina. This was a couple I met while working as a journalist in the world of food critiquing. Nick and Tina started off as high school sweethearts. They had every reason to believe they’d be together forever.
Both of them started off as young entrepreneurs, with each of them having their own business. Nick inherited a bar from his dad. Tina, on the other hand, had a small business creating custom nail polishes she sold online. They decided to go in together on another business: a luxe bakery.
Unfortunately, their relationship didn’t fare too well. After about 10 years together, the two just noticed their love life fizzled out. Eventually, they quietly acknowledged each other as best friends rather than husband and wife. They chose to divorce.
While they parted ways, the truth is they impressed me with the way they handled everything. Prior to going into business together, they sat down with a lawyer and came up with a plan on how to split everything in the event that a divorce occurred.
Their plan involved a buyout option, a mediation option, and an arbitration option. They also had hired a coach to help them work through the divorce while keeping the business intact. Part of them working together was realizing that they had to put aside their differences for the sake of the business.
Tina and Nick both knew how much effort it takes a business to succeed. That’s why they were so careful when they first got into business together. As Nick told me, “If I didn’t feel like she could put aside our personal issues for the sake of the business, I wouldn’t have gone into business with her.”
Tina took over the luxury baking business, and it blossomed into a fairly popular venue. Ironically, they both got together again within a year of being apart. Nick now co-owns the same baking company he helped Tina launch, and they seem to be doing quite well together.
What You Can Learn
Businesses are all about relationships and partnerships. If you don’t have a good partner, you’re not going to have a healthy business later on. This is doubly true if the partner you’re in business with is your spouse.
While some might argue that having a business run by two spouses is not a good idea, I believe it can be done wisely. However, you’re going to need to keep an eye out for the dangers and pitfalls that can come from a literal “mom n’ pop” business.
Here’s what I learned from the stories above…
Don’t get into business if you’re emotionally immature.
A lot of the issues that Chris and Tessa had all stemmed from emotional immaturity. Tessa was greedy, self-centered, and often dramatic. She couldn’t, for the life of her, put the business first. Needless to say, people who worked with her decided that she was too much of a risk to work with.
Chris wasn’t without fault, either. His explosive temper and constant grumbling about the divorce was what drove away his star employee. For him, he had an ego problem. Had they both gotten a grip on themselves, they likely would have saved their business.
Plan for the worst.
Neither Nick nor Chris had any reason to believe their wives would leave them when they first got together. However, they both ended up divorcing. While one couple eventually made up, the truth is that they still had the foresight to come up with solutions that would work if the two split.
Assuming that you’ll always be on good terms with your partner is great…until it’s not. Even if you think it’ll never happen, have a backup plan. You have everything to gain and nothing to lose by doing so.
Talk to a talented lawyer.
Businesses are not the type of thing you should try to “guesswork” your way into and out of. State and local laws can make a huge difference in how your business partnership can be dissolved.
A good lawyer can help you navigate the laws in your area so that you can come up with a court-admissible plan should things go south. Obviously, if you are married to your partner, consulting with a family lawyer who specializes in families that have businesses together is ideal.
Remember that the business should always come first.
Most of us remember the fable about the “goose that laid the golden egg,” and how it went. For those not in the know, townspeople got greedy and killed the goose in hopes of getting eggs faster. The goose then died, but the eggs were no more. In other words, greed isn’t good.
If you let your greed overcome your common sense, there won’t be much of a business left for you to get by the time you’re done bickering. On a similar note, you can’t allow the fighting or separation to get in the way of normal business behavior.
For example, in the case of Chris and Tessa, it was incredibly unprofessional for them to air out their dirty laundry on their company’s social media platforms. It pushed away both clients and employees. At the end of their fiasco, they basically upended their business and made their hard work worthless.
If you focus on trying to wreck your former partner, it’s going to turn out bad for you—even if you do win. Even if you lose a large share of the business, there’s no reason you can’t rebuild if you keep things professional with your other business connections.
If you lose that professionalism, people will rethink working with you on later projects. So consider your calm, professional, or even stoic demeanor an investment in your future.
Being The Bigger Person — Or Fly Solo
If you are going into a business as a two-person, mom n’ pop shop, then you need to remember that it pays to be the bigger person. Compromise, careful planning, and working to choose the right business partner matters a lot in this world.
Of course, there’s an easier way to handle this stuff. If you choose to open a business, being the sole owner tends to be the easiest way to reduce drama. After all, it’s far easier to eliminate squabbles or breakup problems if you’re the only one who owns the business.
