While this sounds selfish, it doesn’t make it any less true … To be successful, you must help yourself before anyone else. Don’t get me wrong – I have no issue with lending a hand. However, there is a way to go about it so you don’t compromise your well-being.
The No.1 Reason to Help Yourself FIRST
That’s right. I’m coming right out of the gate with the reason why you need to look after Numero Uno above all others, and it is this: Before you can aid others, you must attain an abundance of success and resources.
And unless all areas of your life are thriving, you’re likely not there (yet.) This is different from collaboration, by the way, which is defined as “combining strengths to accomplish a goal.”
What I want you to consider while reading this article is whether these are all acts for others’ long-term benefit. Or, are they just a liability all around?
Do You Help Others (Instead of Yourself) for Good Reasons?
Before you hate on me for saying that you should help yourself first, know this: My mission in life is to help all eight billion people on this planet! But, a big part of that is empowering them with the tools to make it on their own. This includes being transparent about success and what it takes to get there.
And, let me tell you, it is a lot of focus and hustle.
So, before you take your eyes off the prize to help someone, ask yourself a few questions.
Are you the right person for the job?
This one is easy enough to understand. If a friend of yours needs assistance with something outside your wheelhouse, leave it alone. You wouldn’t try and do brain surgery if you weren’t a surgeon. It’s the same idea in day-to-day life, albeit on a smaller scale.
Instead, point them to someone who knows what they’re doing. Your friend will appreciate it and you help yourself at the same time. It’s a win-win situation.
Would helping them stunt their development?
Harsh as it seems, you must let people learn some lessons the hard way. Doing this is difficult, especially with those you love most. But sometimes, it is necessary. In fact, one of the best things my mom ever did for me was cut me off at 25 years old.
When you set those hard boundaries, it benefits them long-term. This brings us to the last question to ask yourself before you provide help:
Are you doing this to help yourself feel better?
Finally, are you spending time giving advice and doing favors to stroke your own ego? Believe it or not, some individuals go out of their way to prove they’re good people or are somehow better than others. Whether this thought has crossed your mind before or not, helping others for that reason is like an apple from a rotten tree.
It’s not the best use of your energy. In that case, I suggest you reconnect with your purpose. Then, you can make a real difference in the world.
When to Support Others
Earlier, I discussed how the reason to help yourself first is to be better able to assist others. Ideally, you would first have amassed an abundance of money, time, wisdom and contacts before you started helping others on a massive scale. Of course, don’t neglect people along the way. I just don’t want you to give away too much of yourself on the way to reaching your full potential.
